Shame is one of the most powerful and mentally harmful emotions to be felt. It can cripple someone's self-esteem, as well as their emotional and psychological well-being. I am committed to helping my clients overcome such debilitating feelings through the effective approach of Person Centred Therapy.But, before we move onto how this therapy type can bring solace when feeling shameful, today I will explore the concept of shame, how you can nurture your mind to relinquish shame and the therapy process when treating those suffering from this emotion. By understanding why we feel shame and how it can affect our lives, we can develop resilience and focus on a positive outlook.

Understanding Your Shame

Shame is an emotion that often hits us in waves. Its level is very much dependent on how you perceive yourself; when feeling shameful, this is usually because you are focusing on your flaws or inadequacies. The stronger the feeling of shame, the more likely it'll manifest into other feelings of guilt, worthlessness or embarrassment. Therefore, it is hard to shake off, even if the original cause is a problem of the past. It's important to note that shame is such a natural emotion. Everybody feels it, whether it's temporarily or with permanency. Either way, those around you will be able to relate and therefore, confiding in your support network is always advised.

Dealing With Shame in Therapy

In addition to seeking support from those around you, therapeutic approaches are a proven treatment for shame as they help shed light on why you feel shameful and how you can dissociate yourself from this emotion. Here is a closer insight into how my Person-Centred Therapy sessions can help you in dealing with your shame:

Identifying Triggers

To understand where your shame has derived from, it's essential to take notice of the triggers. You'll find that certain situations and experiences will leave you feeling shameful, so by establishing these causes, we can work together to identify ways to avoid such events or separate them from such intense feelings.

Self-Compassion

When dealing with shame, you must develop your self-compassion. Within shame therapy, you'll go on a journey of self-discovery, opening yourself up to the strength and resilience that you already bear. By doing so, you'll, in turn, feel a sense of compassion for the pressures and previous traumas that have left you in shame. Self-compassion is about recognising our inherent worth and treating ourselves with respect, kindness and understanding, especially when capitalising on the fact that everybody makes mistakes.

Emotional Regulation

When I work with my clients to address their shame, I have found various techniques can be implemented to manage and express emotion healthily. Uncovering and unfolding the cause of your shame in a safe, confidential setting can help you to better understand the causes of these feelings and identify ways to process and prevent them.

Shame Resilience

Lastly, by fostering resilience to shame, you'll have a better outlook on how to cope with such negative feelings and emotions when they arise. To do this, we'll work together to improve your self-worth, acknowledge and accept your limitations, and practice self-compassion.

The Antidote to Shame: Pride and Resilience

Adopting new levels of pride is the most effective way to combat your shame. As it's essentially the opposite of shame, it allows you to take ownership of your achievements and capabilities as opposed to focusing on what mistakes or inabilities you may bare. In addition, a positive self-image is vital to ensuring you don't let shame take over your mindset.Employing resilience is also vital when dealing with feelings of shame. It allows you to recover from adversity and maintain your confidence, even when dealing with challenging circumstances. Within my sessions, I prioritise building resilience for my clients so they can overcome previous setbacks and learn practical ways to cope with any further down the line.To do the above, during our sessions, we can spend some time focusing on your achievements, realistic goal setting, developing coping skills and embracing your self-compassion. I'll also encourage you to work on the same between sessions, especially by surrounding yourself with a strong support circle.  

Book a session with me today!

Are you ready to tackle your feelings of shame and anguish through therapy? By working with me through my Person-Centred Therapy approach, you'll embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and compassion. Together we will identify your triggers, reconstruct your negative thought patterns and build on your resilience. As a result, not only will you put your shame behind you, but you'll foster a healthier outlook on yourself and your strengths. When working through shame in counselling sessions with me, I’ll allow you to determine how in-depth your sessions are at your own pace and comfort levels. For further information on my therapy techniques and what to expect from your sessions, you can get in touch with me via email at therapy@liddycarver.co.uk or Book a Session here.