anger management


couples therapy




Anger, Rage and Relationships

May 8, 2023





Anger, Rage and Relationships

With a speciality in person-centred therapy, I am met with many clients struggling with the complexities derived from feeling anger in relationships. Rage, fury, resentment and even passion are some of the strongest emotions you can experience. However, when experienced often, both parties can feel overwhelmed and disconnected from one another and themselves.But by understanding these feelings, you can work together to manage them and find coping mechanisms that avoid damaging your partnership. And that's what I am here to do today; discuss the difference between anger and rage within a relationship and explain how my person-centred therapy approach can help you both to come to terms with these valid emotions, benefitting your unit now and in the future.

The Difference Between Anger and Rage in Relationships

It's a common misconception that anger and rage are the same emotion. But, in fact, they are both distinct feelings with different implications for relationships. By identifying the difference between the two, couples can begin to recognise their emotional patterns, uncover where the feelings stem from and find a solution that works for them.


Anger, while a natural emotion, can be very damaging to your mental health when not addressed. It is often experienced as a response to perceived threats, frustration and injustice. Although it can take its toll when prolonged, it is also a healthy and adaptive response that allows for protection and assertion of boundaries. The impact of anger in your relationship depends upon the level that it is being expressed. When inappropriate or excessive, this can be destructive to your bond and cause long-lasting damage. Furthermore, explosive anger can jeopardise the trust you share, as well as the comfort that the other person feels in your presence - especially as it is often unpredictable.


Rage, on the other hand, is a more intense and uncontrollable form of anger. While explosive anger shares the same connotations, it is much less consistent than rage. Most often, rage results from feeling powerless, deep-rooted pain and humiliation. Rage in relationships takes a firm hold of your connection and leads to outbursts, aggression and even violence in extreme cases.Rage has several levels of severity, one being cold rage. This indicates that the individual cannot process life experiences and may be dealing with unresolved emotional issues that require support from those around them, as well as a specialist.

The Role of Therapy in Understanding Anger and Rage

Counselling can be instrumental in supporting couples in understanding and overcoming the underlying causes of anger and rage in their relationships. However, when it comes to addressing how to deal with anger in a relationship, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. It is your therapist's responsibility to create a treatment plan that works for you as individuals and as a partnership.However, one common benefit to therapy is the supportive environment that it is undergone in. I strive to facilitate open communication and encourage all parties to explore their feelings without retaliation or judgement, giving my clients a safe space in every session.Below is a closer insight into how my therapy sessions can help you manage the anger and rage that you're experiencing within your relationship.

Person-Centred Therapy

Person-centred therapy has become one of the most beneficial and effective approaches available today. Due to the focus and direction of the sessions being determined by the client, it allows for client autonomy and consistent, direct emotional support. In addition, I pride myself in offering an empathetic and non-judgmental space, ensuring that my clients can express their unique experiences as slowly or as quickly as they desire while helping them to identify the root cause of their anger and/or rage at their own pace.As a result, couples can better understand one another and inherit effective communication and conflict resolution methods. This is something that traditional anger management sessions can't necessarily achieve due to their sole focus being on anger and rage, as opposed to its effects.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

EMDR, first developed by Francine Shapiro, is a psychotherapy technique that encourages healing from traumatic and distressing experiences. This is particularly helpful for individuals with anger and rage rooted in past trauma. EMDR is designed to support clients in developing healthier coping strategies, allowing them to manage their emotions much more successfully.This is a process that I offer, depending on whether it's suited to your circumstances.

The Benefits of Addressing Anger and Rage in Relationships

There are several benefits to addressing rage and anger in relationships. These include:Improved communication: As you may know, communication is vital to a healthy relationship. By working towards a solution to your anger and rage, you will incorporate open and honest communication, preventing misunderstanding and reducing feelings of resentment, thus fostering a healthier relationship.Enhanced emotional intimacy: Discussing your emotions with one another can lead to a deeper emotional connection, strengthening your bond as a whole.Increased trust and safety: Next to communication comes trust. As you both learn to manage your extreme emotions, you will ultimately create a safer environment for you both as individuals and as a team. In turn, you will nurture the trust and security you feel towards each other.Personal growth: While anger in relationships focuses on you as a partnership, it can also help you to grow as a person. You'll be more self-aware and be able to develop healthier coping strategies and emotional responses.

Get in touch today

Want to begin reaping these benefits? The first step in recovery is to admit that you need support. While there is a somewhat thin line between anger and rage, both can leave long-term effects that can shape your relationships now and in future. To maintain a healthy and positive relationship, person-centred therapy and/or EMDR can help. You will both navigate your emotions in an open and safe environment, strengthening your bond and trust.Let me help you both to grow and connect like never before by getting in touch today via phone at 07914 952723 or via my website. As a qualified therapist, I can help you begin a journey towards a happier and more fulfilling relationship.

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