Growing up in poverty can have an impact beyond your childhood circumstances. When you have limited money, everyday experiences that others take for granted can be a cause of stress, embarrassment or worry. 

You may remember overhearing difficult conversations about bills, missing out on activities and school trips with friends, or noticing the stress your parents went through trying to make ends meet. 

Whilst your financial situation may have changed since childhood, the emotional impact of these experiences can remain.

For some, growing up with financial insecurity creates a lasting sense of anxiety around money. For others, this can affect confidence, relationships and self esteem. You may even feel like you’re constantly waiting for something to go wrong, even when your life is relatively stable.

Through my work as a Cheshire therapist, I understand how childhood experiences can influence how we see ourselves and the world around us. Recognising how growing up in poverty has affected you emotionally can help you make sense of the feelings and behaviours that have followed you into adulthood, and help you approach yourself with greater compassion.

How does growing up in poverty affect you as an adult?

If you grew up in an environment where finances were consistently a source of stress you may have learned from an early age that security is uncertain.

These experiences can influence how you respond to uncertainty. You might struggle to relax when things are going well, feel uncomfortable spending money on yourself or worry excessively about unexpected expenses.

Some individuals may become extremely careful with money, whilst others might spend impulsively when they have the freedom to do so. Neither response necessarily means someone is irresponsible. Sometimes, our relationship with money reflects the experiences we have had and the emotions we associate with financial security.

Growing up in poverty can also impact relationships. This could look like finding it difficult to connect with others, feeling responsible for solving others’ problems, or struggling to believe financial stability will last.

Recognising patterns like these can be an important first step towards understanding how your childhood continues to affect you.

Why do people feel ashamed of growing up poor?

Shame is something many people experience when reflecting on childhood poverty, particularly if they grew up feeling different from those around them.

You may remember being unable to afford school trips, wearing second-hand clothes or making excuses when friends invited you to activities your family could not afford. Experiences like these can be particularly painful during childhood, when fitting in and feeling accepted are so important.

Society also has an unfortunate tendency to attach unfair judgements to financial circumstances. Children can absorb these messages long before they fully understand what poverty means.

If you were teased, left out or made to feel embarrassed about your home or possessions, you may have gradually internalised the belief that having less meant you were somehow worth less.

Feelings like these can continue into adulthood. You might avoid discussing your upbringing, feel uncomfortable around people from wealthier backgrounds or worry about judgement if you share your childhood experiences with others.

It is important to understand that poverty is not a personal failing, especially for a child who has no control over their family's circumstances. The shame you experienced may have come from how others treated you, rather than anything about who you were.

Can childhood poverty affect self-esteem and self-worth?

Our understanding of ourselves develops through our early experiences and relationships. If your childhood involved financial hardship, this may have influenced your beliefs about yourself, what you deserve and how you compare with others.

If you regularly felt excluded because your family could not afford certain things, you may have started to associate belonging with money, possessions or social status.

This can result in feelings of pressure to prove yourself. You may feel that you need to achieve more, earn more or appear successful before you can feel genuinely confident.

But, even when you accomplish these things, the feeling of not being good enough may remain. Success becomes closely connected to avoiding the shame they experienced growing up. Instead of feeling proud of their achievements, they may constantly worry about losing everything they have worked for.

Childhood poverty does not automatically lead to low self-esteem, and many people develop considerable strengths through difficult circumstances. However, if your early experiences left you feeling inferior, insecure or undeserving, those beliefs deserve attention.

Why do I still worry about money even when I'm financially stable?

If you experienced financial insecurity throughout childhood, financial stability as an adult may not bring you the sense of safety you hoped for.

You may have savings, a reliable source of income and enough money to meet your needs, but still feel anxious whenever an unexpected bill arrives.

This can happen because our emotional responses are influenced by previous experiences, not just our current circumstances.

When you have spent years worrying about whether there will be enough, your mind may become accustomed to anticipating financial struggles. Even when the immediate threat has passed, you may continue preparing for the worst.

You might find yourself repeatedly checking your bank balance, avoiding purchases you can comfortably afford or feeling guilty when spending money on yourself.

Behaviours like these might have helped you to feel more secure in the past, but they can be exhausting when they stop you from enjoying the financial stability you’ve worked so hard to achieve.

Try to distinguish between your current financial situation and the fears associated with your childhood. Noticing that you’re responding to an earlier experience doesn’t mean dismissing genuine financial concerns, but it can help you understand why your emotional reaction sometimes feels greater than the situation itself.

Can therapy help with the emotional effects of childhood poverty?

The emotional effects of growing up in poverty aren’t always easy to spot, particularly when you have spent years thinking that your experiences were a normal part of life.

Therapy can provide an opportunity to explore how financial insecurity, shame or difficult childhood experiences may have shaped your relationship with yourself and others.

In therapy sessions, you might start to notice patterns of anxiety, perfectionism or self-criticism that started during childhood. You may also explore feelings of guilt around spending money, difficulties accepting support or the pressure you place on yourself to remain financially secure.

One of the strengths of person-centred therapy is that it allows you to explore these experiences without judgement. Instead of being told how you should think about your past, you are given space to understand what those experiences meant to you.

Finding support for the lasting effects of childhood poverty

If growing up in poverty has left you struggling with anxiety, shame or feelings of not being good enough, please do not be afraid to reach out. 

Sometimes, understanding why you feel the way you do marks the start of a healthier relationship with yourself. If you feel ready to explore how your past may be affecting your present, please get in touch to take the first step towards getting support.

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