Needless to say, the COVID-19 pandemic, a global event that unfolded with unprecedented speed and impact, has left a lasting mark on our lives. 

The pandemic and its waves of restrictions profoundly affected many individuals’ psychological well-being and, in turn, the dynamics of our relationships, whether that be in the context of romantic relationships, families or friendships. 

As a person-centred therapist, the last few years have meant that I have seen many struggling with the lingering effects of this challenging period on individuals and their connections with loved ones. The circumstances we faced collectively, from enforced proximity to heightened anxieties and economic uncertainties, continue to ripple through our relationships, often in subtle yet significant ways.

How has the COVID-19 pandemic affected people psychologically?

The psychological toll of the pandemic was extensive and presents itself in different ways for different people. The constant threat of illness, combined with periods of isolation, disruption to routine and financial strain, contributed to widespread anxiety and depression. For many, the pandemic meant constant proximity to those in their household, which was a positive for some, but put strain on others’ relationships. 

Many individuals experienced heightened levels of stress, fear of the unknown, and a sense of loss; loss of freedom, social connection, and even loved ones. 

For some, pre-existing mental health conditions were amplified, whilst others may have developed new challenges in the uncertainty. 

The circumstances surrounding the virus and its long-term consequences also contributed to a pervasive sense of unease, leaving many feeling powerless. This shared experience has inevitably seeped into our closest relationships, shaping how we interact, communicate, and navigate conflict.

How has the pandemic affected relationships?

The pandemic acted as a significant stress test for relationships of all kinds. For some couples, the enforced time together created opportunities for deeper connection and shared experiences. 

For many others, the intense proximity, coupled with external pressures, amplified existing tensions and created new ones. The financial worries, challenges associated with homeschooling children and differing approaches to risk level all contributed to conflict. Because many people were also asked to switch from in-office roles to working from home, the blurring of boundaries between work and home life also placed significant strain on many partnerships.

For those struggling with power and control in relationships, the situations of lockdown and financial insecurity may have increased any controlling tendencies, leading to feelings of being powerless in a relationship for one or both partners. 

As so many found themselves cut off from the outside world, the inability to have even temporary freedom or independent space to reflect may have further complicated these dynamics. The stress and uncertainty led to increased anger, rage and relationship issues, making effective communication and conflict resolution even more challenging.

The pandemic also shone a spotlight on pre-existing attachment issues within many relationships. Individuals with anxious attachment styles may have experienced heightened fear of abandonment during periods of isolation, leading to clinginess or reassurance-seeking behaviours that strained their partners. Those with avoidant attachment styles may have retreated further, creating emotional distance and making connections difficult. 

The shared trauma of the pandemic also had the potential to trigger past relational wounds, further complicating present-day interactions and contributing to trust issues in relationships.

How has COVID affected marriages 5 Years On?

Married couples faced their own unique set of pressures during the pandemic. 

Whilst some may have thrived through navigating the uncertainties together, others saw significant strain. Daily life was intensified within the home, with many family units finding themselves cooped up together all day, every day. Coupled with the heightened emotional states, and lack of time or ability to have fun together, this magnified pre-existing marital issues for many.

For some couples, the prolonged periods of proximity exposed fundamental differences in values, priorities, and expectations for the marriage that had previously been less apparent. 

Those who previously struggled with trust issues in their relationship may have felt under further strain, stemming from perceived lack of support or differing approaches to pandemic-related decisions. 

The intense and sustained nature of these issues, combined with the sense of confinement and uncertainty around when lockdowns would end, unfortunately contributed to increased marital conflict and, in some cases, the difficult decision to separate or divorce.

Rebuilding Connection

Whilst the pandemic may be behind us, it’s important to appreciate that the aftermath may still be affecting you or your loved ones. Here are some strategies to help you rebuild connections post-pandemic:

1. Prioritise Open and Honest Communication

Create dedicated time to talk openly about your feelings, anxieties, and needs. Practice active listening, truly hearing your partner's perspective without judgment or defensiveness.

2. Re-establish Boundaries

Though life outside of your home may feel back to “normal”, is your relationship? Consciously work to re-establish healthy boundaries between work, personal time, and couple time. Schedule dedicated moments for connection, free from distractions.

3. Practice Empathy and Understanding 

Recognise that the pandemic has affected each of you individually. Try to understand your partner's feelings and offer empathy and support. 

4. Rediscover Shared Activities

Re-engage in activities you both enjoyed before the pandemic or explore new shared interests. Creating positive experiences together can help rekindle connection and joy.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

If you find yourselves struggling to navigate these challenges, couples therapy can provide a safe and neutral space to explore underlying issues, improve communication skills, and develop strategies for strengthening your bond. Individual therapy can also be beneficial in processing personal anxieties and traumas that may be impacting your relationship. Remember, seeking support is a sign of strength.

Navigating the storm together

The pandemic has undoubtedly left its mark on our relationships, but it has also heightened our capacity for resilience and shown us the importance of valuable connections, as you truly never know what’s around the corner. 

If you and your partner are finding it difficult to navigate post-pandemic life, you are not alone. I offer both couples therapy and individual therapy from my welcoming office near Warrington and online via Zoom. 

My person-centred approach provides a supportive and non-judgmental environment where we can explore the specific ways the pandemic has impacted your relationship, address any feelings of being powerless, manage anger and build trust.