The Impact of Trust Issues on Relationships
Trust can be scary, placing yourself in a vulnerable position at the expense of others and hoping they don’t betray you. However, you are powerless over the actions of others, and this is where it is vital. Without trust, society would be disconnected; no one could form a healthy, stable relationship. Instead, we would see a dog eat dog world.
The importance of trust is why trust issues develop. The betrayal of your trust from someone you love – whether that’s platonically or romantically- can affect you for the rest of your life. Therefore they are traumatising and preventing you from forming deep connections. Who you align your trust with is entirely up to you, depending solely on your judgement of a person or situation. That is why it can be hard to decide who is trustworthy as only you can decide that.
If you recognise a difficulty trusting others, please keep reading to see how speaking to a therapist can help resolve these deep-rooted issues.
How do trust issues develop
Trust issues can develop from early childhood and follow someone into adulthood. For example, being mistreated as a child through abuse and neglect places a distrust in people from a young age, as a child’s blind trust is betrayed through abuse, meaning, they never develop a sense of judgement about when to and not to trust someone. Instead, they choose to distrust people in general and therefore not form whole relationships.
Furthermore, trust issues can develop as a teen if they are socially rejected by their peers or bullied. Betrayal at this vital developmental stage results in self-esteem issues, and having low self-esteem leads to a lack of trust as a person feels unworthy of others trust and therefore struggles to make friends. Thus, creating a cycle of betrayal as teens struggle to connect with anyone due to the fear of rejection.
As you can see, anyone can develop trust issues at any time, as a person’s trust -no matter their age- will always be vulnerable and exposed. Other ways in which trust issues can develop are:
- An accident
- Loss of loved ones
- Being cheated on or left for another person
All of the above are examples of trauma, and these traumatic life events result in deep-rooted trust issues that can stay with someone for life. In addition, psychologists have noted a rise in trust issues correlating with social media, enabling partners to be deceptive online. Therefore, an increasing number of couples are seeking ‘couples therapy’.
Because trust issues stem from trauma, there are often other mental health issues at work such as:
- Fear of abandonment
- Attachment issues
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
If you are experiencing any of these issues alongside trust issues, it is crucial to seek help to restore a sense of clear judgement and trust in others.
Signs of someone with trust issues:
- Lack of intimacy or friendships
- Mistrust that disrupts relationships
- Dramatic and toxic relationships
- Afraid of physical intimacy
- Suspicious of others’ behaviours without evidence
Trust issues are sadly widespread and extremely hard to overcome alone. It requires opening up old wounds and allowing yourself to get hurt again and again until finally, you regain that trust, and your trust is cherished and protected by someone who genuinely cares for you. Therefore, by consulting a therapist, they can help guide you step-by-step to safely developing trust for others again. Of course, this also means you must find a therapist to place your trust in initially. Remember, my job as a therapist is to create a safe, trusting relationship to make all clients feel comfortable and open. A therapist is ethically bound not to betray your trust, which is a significant first step in forming a deeper relationship. I want to see you grow and eventually develop lifelong connections again.
It is not your fault that you cannot trust. As aforementioned, trust issues develop at a young age, and you may not know entirely why. Therefore, it is essential to consult a therapist and understand how mistrust manifests itself in your life. Luckily, it is quite possible to regain trust for you to live a happier, meaningful life. If you would like to place your trust in me, then contact me today, where we will take things at your pace, either online or in person, as a way of regaining trust and understanding how to maintain it.