Relationship breakdowns during or after lockdown
As humans, it is in our nature to form deep emotional relationships with people. Having that one person you can always turn to and love can be one of the greatest experiences in life, mentally fulfilling many of our needs whilst also being a great form of support when going through hardships. That is why, when relationships break down, the impact of this mentally can be entirely devastating and hugely impact your life.
We don’t get into a relationship with someone unless we expect it to last. Therefore, if these relationships break down, it can be emotionally draining and trigger several mental health conditions. If these feelings are left untreated, they can build to a breaking point. It is essential to know that there is always someone there for you to turn to. Remember, a therapists job is to be that person you can always turn to.
After a break up you may feel:
- Uncertainty for the future
- Loneliness and isolation
- A sense of failure
You may find yourself in a cycle of wondering what happened and how you could have prevented it. Adjusting to your new situation can be taxing mentally, as break-ups are usually unexpected and shocking. The point you are at in life can also enhance these feelings. For example, if you are younger, you may have dreamed of a future together. In contrast, those older may find adjusting to life alone difficult after years together; plus, a breakup or divorce further complicates the matter for those with children. This added stress can create several mental health issues that can impact your role as a parent.
Although it may feel stiff, it is essential to know that things do get better with time. However, in the meantime, if you are struggling, then enlisting the help of a therapist can be a great way to understand why your relationship ended. In addition, these sessions can help you recover emotionally so that you can get your life back on track.
How to accept the end of your relationship and get over a breakup
- Allow time to heal
- Express your emotions
- Keep busy
- Surround yourself with friends
- Talk to a therapist
- Stop dwelling on the past and look to the future
By now, you may well have heard all about the cycle of acceptance. If not, this cycle creates the stages of accepting events (including breakups) in life. The cycle is:
Whilst this cycle is proper for some cases, it doesn’t have to be the same for you. With the help of a therapist, you can break this cycle and go through the emotional stages of a breakup with the full support you need. This allows you to skip a few steps of this, such as ‘bargaining’ and skip ahead to acceptance so that you can become independent again.
How did the pandemic affect relationships?
Sadly, the pandemic hit us out of the blue, meaning that new couples were forced to either move in together or not see each other for months, whilst those who already lived together were kept in a contained space with no room for individuality. While lockdown may not have negatively impacted all couples, it certainly had a widespread effect upon many couples across the UK, with a significant number of women initiating a divorce – a 76% increase coming from women.
Furthermore, the increase in other mental health problems that arose off the back of the pandemic contributed to a rise in relationship breakdowns as people were struggling to balance their mental health and their relationship. A UK comprehensive poll was of 2000 people reported that 23% of couples found the pandemic to place pressure on their relationship.
Getting over a breakup is extremely challenging; if it were easy, there wouldn’t be thousands of books, films, and forums dedicated to helping people recover. However, looking at the silver lining of a breakup is a great place to start. Take this time to get in touch with who you are as an individual and regain a sense of identity you may have lost with your partner. This may be discovering old hobbies or changing your daily routine to accommodate your needs and yours alone. This is a great place to start, and a therapist is also an excellent means of guiding you through your journey of finding your individuality. As a therapist, I want to help you understand why your relationship ended so that you can truly get over it once and for all.
If you would like to book in for your consultation, then please head over to my website to start your journey today!